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Communication

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Unable to resolve conflict?

There are 3 milestones to effective conflict resolution

  1. Does the other party feel understood and are they willing to help me understand them
  2. Does the other party understand me and are they willing to communicate in a way that helps them to understand me.
  3. A decision is made

When two parties want to understand each other, but are at an impasse, they may not know how to keep the conversation going.

Socratic Communication

The solution is to keep the conversation flowing!

‘Socratic Selling’ by Kevin Dahle provides some simple solutions through ways to ask for additional information.

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Here are some simple things you can say to keep the conversation going

  • Tell me more about that
  • When it comes to this issue, what are your thoughts on this?
  • Why do you feel or think that way about this?

ASK!

Next time you are not sure how to respond in a conversation to resolve conflict, simply ask. Use one of the suggestions provided and see what happens.

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Communication Strategy

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The pillars of true communication are

  1. increased understanding and
  2. the ability to make a decision.

If communication does not result in one or both of these, then it is not communication. It is just talking to someone.

I have found that there is a distinct formula and sequence for meeting the requirements of these pillars of communication.  When you get the order wrong, it is required to acknowledge at what stage the communication broke down in order to resume communication. 

The formula can be thought of as objectives to achieve.

Below is a guide to provide the standard objectives and tips to navigate thru the process. 

Objectives

  1. I understand the other person
  2. The other person feels understood
    • If they do not, I need to ask questions that allow them to feel understood. I can restate what they say or ask clarifying questions.
    • If they are not willing to partifipate, I WITHDRAW until they are willing to participate, but I DO NOT CONTINUE.
  3. The other person understands me
  4. I feel that the other person understand me
    • The other person is willing to work with me to understand me.
    • If they are not willing to partifipate, I WITHDRAW until they are willing to participate, but I DO NOT CONTINUE.
  5. As a result of the discussion, decisions are made.

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